I’m at a wedding deception last night…

I’m holding up a wall behind our table last night, one of the bridesmaids come up to me and asks if I want to dance.

1. I can’t dance.
2. Music sucked. (No “Used To Love Her“, “Gunpowder and Lead” or “Darling Nikki”

Sure, she was cute, (boobs, tanlines, drunk) but that don’t count for everything. There’s that rule of (age/2)+7=okay and I think she fell outside of that parameter. I knew half the people there and that wasn’t good, but also I didn’t know the other half and she was one of those. But the most important reason was and is:

“Reason why I won’t is that my wife will kick your ass,” and I pointed her out–easy to spot due to the bared teeth…

I guess I’m old school–if anyone is going to ignore me sexually and romantically, it’s going to be my wife!

EDITOR’s NOTE: My wife has informed me that she hasn’t been ignoring me sexually or romantically. My mistake.

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Author: Damon Hynes

Used to chase tornadoes, until Ma Nature ran out of them...

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