The Trees Don’t Grow in Auburn…

One for my RUSH and RSFC plas. Wonder what Neil Peart thinks of Armoured American Wankball?

There’s unrest on Toomer’s Corner,
There is trouble with the trees,
One Bammer wanted more sunlight,
AuNecks ignored his pleas.

The trouble with Harvey Updyke,
(The police are convinced he’s a dick)
He says Auburn acts too lofty
And they grab up all the chicks.
But Auburn can’t help their feelings
If they like trophies and cheers.
And they wonder why that Bammer
Can’t be happy with last year’s.

There is trouble on the Plains,
Musberger and Lundquist both have fled,
As the Bammer slurs “Rammer Jammer”
And AuNecks just shake their heads.

So this Bammer bought Tebuthiuron
And committed herbicide.
“AuNecks are just too greedy;
“Yea, Alabama! Drown ’em Tide!”
Now there are no more oaks in Auburn,
Updyke is down by law,
AU and Tide are all kept equal
By Gators, ‘Cocks, and Dawgs.


Author: Damon Hynes

Used to chase tornadoes, until Ma Nature ran out of them...

2 thoughts on “The Trees Don’t Grow in Auburn…”

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